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Well for a matter of fact, i know some people think i changed. They find me mean or nasty. I have got my reasons why i became like this. I have got my reasons why my attitude changed towards some people. I get sick and tired of being nice to people and all i get in return is something nasty. I don’t hold any grudges on anyone. I forgive people for their mistake but i don’t know why, it’s hard for me to forget the things that have happened.
In the past there used to be someone who hated me for not being myself. Well i wish i could explain this to you. I wish you were able to read this. Whenever i be myself some people tend to be envy about me. I don’t know what i do, that makes the person feels insecure about me being around them. When people gets insecure of me being round them, every single thing that i do makes them feel hurt. When the person feels hurt, they tend to blame everything on me.
Yes i admit, i used to be a timid girl. I don’t even know how to fight for my rights. I get bullied easy. I don’t like to be honest with people because i don’t like hurting other people’s feeling. I hate doing that. When people tell something hurtful to me, i’m always keeping quiet. Meanwhile, if i were to become someone that i’m not, people will hate me. People might think that i am being such an ass. You see, its hard being me.
Now that i have changed to fight for my rights, people think i am being nasty or mean. when i voice out for myself, people think that i am being such a bitch. Look then what am i suppose to do. Sometimes i am tired people. I’m tired of pretending everything is alright when deep inside i’m not. I’m breaking down. I am tired of understanding other people. I am physically and mentally tired. If people think i’m being heartless, then think about it again. Who make me to become this person. Its the people around. Its those people who repeatedly hurt me.
The reason why i’m not being that soft hearted girl is because i’m tired of being used. The reason why my attitude is like that towards her is because i gave her too much chances. But in return all i get was nothing nice. Yes sometimes i do pity her, being alone. No one likes her. But she needs to start changing. She can’t always be this way. When people gets nice with her, she back stab those people. Think how would you feel if you were in that kind of situation.
You are big enough. You know at times i do wish to shout at everyone and tell them how i really feel. How hurt i am. How miserable i am. How much it hurts. What am i suppose to be when everything i do is never right. I wish i could. But those words are always left unspoken. I guess thats the best thing to do.
(Source: weheartit.com)
